·      Seventy-eight percent of Americans describe their jobs as stressful and that it has worsened over the past ten years.

·      Seventy-five to ninety percent of visits to primary care physicians are for stress-related problems.

·      The National Safety Council estimates that one million employees are absent on an average workday because of stress-related problems.

So, given that most of us are feeling more than a little nervous tension from day to day, how nice it would be if we could just give ourselves a break - perhaps even some time alone in a space that calms or rejuvenates, depending on our personality.

Traditionally, that's been our home. But, says architect Sarah Susanka, author of The Not So Big House books, while our houses today are really our primary retreat in terms of how we experience the world, there's no getting around the fact that if you live with other people, that retreat is shared. "People compromise for each other in terms of décor, but as a result, there's no one place for them to truly express themselves in their own homes," she says. "We give children their own place, but adults generally don't have that."

Novelist Virginia Woolf called it "a room of one's own." A generation ago it was the sewing room conversion from a now-grown child's bedroom for the wife and the garage or the basement workshop for the husband. Before that it might have been the elegant, paneled library with floor-to-ceiling bookcases, a leather chair and a full humidor on the mahogany desk.

Today's retreats are different. "It can be anything - an alcove in a room, a screened-off portion of the living room, wherever you can carve out some space," says Susanka. "One client of mine took over a closet in his grown child's old bedroom, opening it to the hallway instead of the room. It was a delightful little space for meditation."

The key to the perfect retreat, she says, is that you make it just what you want it to be. "In mine," says Susanka, "I have things that have meaning to me, that are an expression of myself. It's a serene place. I write there and read there sometimes, just when I want time alone."

Clinical and corporate psychologist Michael Mantell, or "Dr. San Diego," at San Diego Magazine, believes that having a place or space to "marinate" is essential in this world. "The use of color, probably more than anything else, is what most people think of as relaxing and the key to the perfect personal retreat," he says. "Music, art, a view are icing on the cake."

It's especially important in an urban setting. In that context the condo in a city's downtown can itself be the retreat from an active, stimulating street life. The spaces carved out, whether in a room or part of a room, can contain personal treasures, soothing textiles, comfortable furniture, and a place to set books, a cup of tea, or a glass of wine.

Of course, retreat means different things to different people. One person's easy easy chair is another's space to do yoga, equipped with a good sound system. It could be a bathroom outfitted to be a spa with candles, thick Turkish towels, and a large garden tub. It could be your bedroom, sans television and other distractions but with luxurious bedding and warm lighting. A home cook might find retreat in a good working kitchen while another person might turn to art, with a well-lit corner of a room set up with an easel for painting. Again, it's what you want it to be, what helps you unwind and decompress. You can get some ideas and tips for how to create your own sanctuary on a few different websites, including interiordec.about.com, HGTV, and Sunset.

Brady Architectural Photography

Sometimes, a room of one's own isn't a room at all but the open air outdoors, even if the outdoors is a balcony or terrace. The continuing boom in gardening, including container gardening, reflects a renewed desire to experience nature. And, in an urban setting like Vantage Pointe, that outdoor space can be a special refuge and source of serenity, whether it's a balcony or terrace that's part of the home or the 10th-floor pool deck with its comfortable seating and panoramic views.

For others, though, sanctuary is less a refuge of relaxation than a source of revitalization.

"When people think of stress, they typically think of relaxing, but it's not necessarily the antidote to stress," says Nancilee Wydra, founder of the Feng Shui Institute of America and author of RX for Living, a monthly column on feng shui. "The antidote is to thrive in any area of your life. Becoming calm is one antidote, but not the only one."

Wydra suggests that for some people creating a retreat that stimulates can be just as much of a sanctuary as one that calms. Wydra looks to five elemental areas - wood, earth, fire, water and metal - as suggesting lines, colors, sounds and textures that work to create the right type of sanctuary for a given person's needs.

"Earth, for example, suggests the color of soil in your area, things that are solid and firm, square, low and chunky," she explains. "It represents safety, security and reliability. Fire, on the other hand, suggests the color red, triangular shapes and surfaces that make you react - intellectual processes and energetic responses."

Whatever kind of retreat you create, it's important that it be away from the telephone, the computer, the television, and your communications gadgets.

"If you can spend a little time each day just being with yourself, thinking or meditating," says Susanka, "it gives you breathing space so you can keep things in perspective."